On being a better person... or trying to be

I go through these phases. Let's call them temporary periods of attempted self awareness. They often start when I read a new book on the subject of self improvement or have a conversation that starts me on a little discovery journey, or like my latest phase, starts from watching a film.

If you've ever read anything along these lines, perhaps by Jack Canfield (the Chicken Soup for the Soul guy) or Eckhart Tolle (the Oprah guy) then you know how after finishing one of those books you're on a temporary high and are all about becoming a better person and changing your way of thinking... for about the next 48 hours. Because they're like reading diet books, they don't work if you read them but then never get off the couch to work out or change you diet. It's not the reading of the words that changes you, it takes ACTION. Total bummer I know.

So I've been on and off with these books and ideas, concepts and changes in mind and body for years and I think they've all served some purpose. Little tid bits that stick here and there help to create an overall change, but somehow my latest look into power of mind managed to really stick and it started with a netflix rental of the film "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay. I don't know why I originally picked the film out of my netflix suggestions, perhaps because it had such a high rating, but it came in the mail one day and when the film started I thought it was going to be way too new age mumbo jumbo, but then something about it really began to move me in a way not many other things have in the past. So much so that I watched it again the next evening to really drive the ideas home.

The theme is pretty much the same as The Secret (which was part of my last phase on this topic) where you use your thoughts to change your life, but it's far less... commercial, I guess would be the word. It's not telling you things like "You can have a big giant house and the car of your dreams!!!" as much as The Secret does, but is more about being a happy, healthy and fulfilled person and changing your mind to not just think happy thoughts, but using positive thoughts to change you on a biochemical and neurochemical level. It's message really meant something to me.

And that message really is the power of your mind and your thoughts to create the things that you want in your life and to banish the thoughts (the broken records of negativity) that serve only to bring you down. I think Dr. Wayne W. Dyer put it best in the film when he said,

"Your willingness to contemplate yourself as a person who is capable of attracting into your life what you want; having the kind of relationships you want, being able to to have abundance where scarcity always existed, all you have to do is begin the process by being willing to contemplate the presence of that in your life."

I agree with him (and the others in the film) on the subject and can fully understand and embrace the idea of changing your thoughts to change your life, but Lordy, it's really hard sometimes. I watched the movie twice, bought Louise Hay's books You Can Heal Your Life and Heal Your Body A-Z (purchased used on amazon.com) and I even bought her affirmation cards so that I could read a few of them everyday to keep my mind in that place of positive thoughtfulness, but I still struggle with it sometimes.

A few weeks after my initial enthusiasm I realized I was back to the same old bullshit negative thoughts and then I got mad at myself and the series of deprecating self talk started all over again. Why is it often so hard to have positive thoughts and be a positive person? And furthermore, why is it SO EASY to think the negative ones? It really is mind boggling. The only answer I've come up with so far is January in Minnesota, which is so gray, cold and dark that it causes most people to crawl into a funk, but that cannot really be it. I haven't figured it out yet, but what I do know is that this time I'm not going to let this whole experience be a phase. I'm determined to keep at it, remain positive, watch the film again, read the book again and continue to do my affirmations until thinking happy, self affirming thoughts is second nature to me and my world is filled with abundance where scarcity had always existed. Because like the film says,

"There's a commitment to consciousness and a commitment to action that's necessary in order to be able to manifest the things that we affirm or we intend."

I've written this far and haven't come up with what my real point is here. I guess it is to share the discovery of this wonderful film and book with you, but also to put this concept, my thoughts on it and my frustrations out into the world just so I might be able to let them go. And maybe you're struggling with this too so maybe we could do this together.

I am mentally and emotionally equipped to enjoy a prosperous and loving life. It is my birthright to deserve all good. I claim my good. There is a rhythm and flow to life and I am part of it.

Life supports me and brings to me only good and positive experiences. I trust the process of life to bring me my highest good.

:)